It Starts

Every time I think of something beginning, especially something long, epic, and/or harrowing, that little bit of dialog pops into my head. "It starts".

It should be noted it's read in the voice of Nathan Lane doing Timon from the Lion King, specifically from the SNES game based on the movie. See, whenever you start that game, you're treated to a (at the time) magnificently animated picture of Timon saying that phrase in a (at the time) lovely digitized sound clip, all of which was set in the corner of the stark black TV screen. It gave an inordinate amount of weight and portent to what was, in the end, merely another movie tie-in game. Consequently, that little moment will forever remain with me, filed under "things to reference when beginning to undertake something substantial".

Fitting that it should pop into my head as I sat down to start this blog. Not only is typing up rants merely to go "Look what a clever motherfucker I am!" completely contrary to my nature, but even if it weren't, i'd have to be arrogant enough to assume that enough people would find me enthralling to not make this a complete waste of time. So what to talk about? What in the world would I have to say that anyone I don't talk to daily would give a damn about? What could I compose a lengthy diatribe about that anyone who stumbled onto this post from the four corners of the Incredible Edible Internet would stop to read before hitting the "back" button and continuing their lengthy quest for quality incest pornography? This is the thing that's kept me from joining the ranks of the connected, the Web 2.0 iPhone crowd, the Twitterers and the Facebookers and the Myspacers and yes, the bloggers: I am apparently the last person left alive on the planet who has ever said genuinely to himself "Maybe i'm not that amazing! Maybe typing up every hilarious little thought would be a massive, unnoticed waste of time!".

The first daunting task I had was to overcome those very real questions. Since this is the Internet, I answered them in a manner befitting the medium: nonsensically and with little thought. What can I talk about? Whatever pops into my head that puts gasoline into the Ranting Engine. What if no one cares? Are you kidding, i'm typing on a blog. On the internet. Of course people will read it.

Jesus, is this how you people really think all the time? Stay tuned for my thoughts on love, life, the pursuit of happiness, videogames, and more.