Oh, what the fuck.

So I think on the weekend I'm just going to put in a little funny thing, and on my actual days off (Monday and Tuesday) I probably won't write anything.

Today, let me regale you with a little story. So a couple comes up to me in my store and says "Hey, can you recommend a PC game for a ten year old that's really creative and engages his mind?" and I thought for a second and said "You know, you might want to check out Spore. It's a really creative, engaging game from the creator of Sim City, and features you bringing an entire species up from single cell organism all the way to a space faring race. It's basically Evolution: The Game".

The mom of the couple is already grimacing and turned off by what she perceives as grotesque monsters on the box, and the second I say "evolution", she goes "No, we don't believe in evolution" and the dad chimes in "Yeah, it's not something we want to teach our son". They then hand me back the box like it's filled with hardcore bestiality porn. Keep in mind here, this couple isn't redneck. The mom isn't four billion pounds with a stained Looney Tunes shirt on, and the dad doesn't have on a trucker hat and a Dale Earnhardt wife-beater. These guys look like a normal couple you might find anywhere. So I tell them where the Bejeweled, Sudoku and Chess games are and abruptly leave, because this kid is ruined already. There is no software in the world that could save him now. Had I any balls whatsoever, I probably should have said "Well, maybe you'd like to go out in the parking lot and pick up a stick, so your son can scratch in the dirt. Maybe a nice rock with some heft so he can beat in the skulls of the other apes?"

I hope I don't have to point out the irony of parents wanting creative, brain challenging software to use on their family computer and rejecting the best choice out of the lot because it's loosely based on a scientific theory that their ancient magic Jew book says isn't real. Spoilers mom and dad: He's probably not going to be a scientist at this rate regardless of what you do. How far does that go, I wonder? The bible says that ghosts don't exist. Can he not watch Ghostbusters? Bible says that practicing magic is evil. Harry Potter books out of the question? Bible says that fortune telling, seeing into the future is evil as well. Sorry son, can't be a Star Wars fan.

I cannot wrap my brain around the kind of mindset that creates a person like that. Not really the fundie christian personality per se, I'm more talking about the sheer idiocy that those type of parents suffer from that truly make them believe that if they're stubborn and strict enough, their child will turn out exactly according to template and plan. He might turn out to be an excruciating youth minister or a missionary or some such, but mostly he's probably going to dump all that retarded bullshit the second he hits puberty and resent them for the rest of his life for not letting him see or do anything cool. I can't imagine a person so arrogant that even though they didn't learn that lesson from when THEY were young they still think that they're wise enough that their iron willed plan is the only way their child will turn out excellent.

Normally the story would end here, but I told a co-worker this story after it happened, and they go "Awww, well you have to be tolerant and respectful of other people's beliefs". No, you know what? No I don't. These people threw out probably the best game for children in the last ten years simply because I said the word "evolution". I don't have to respect that. I am fully allowed to think you're fucking sub-human apes for raising a child in the year of our Lord two thousand and eight like that. Listen, there are some people who enjoy poop sex a whole lot. Like, it's their main hobby, their lifestyle. They think about sex involving poop during the day at work, they go home and post about how good it feels to shit your pants on a poop sex forum where other poop sex enthusiasts will agree with them, and then they'll shit their pants and jerk off that night, and it's their God's honest belief that that's normal and healthy. Guess what? That doesn't make it not fucking gross and weird. I don't have to respect that lifestyle, and I don't have to respect the fundie christian lifestyle either.

The Internets not good for much, but it's shown us just how many shades of fucked up lunatics there are out there who are deadly serious about their various fucked up subjects, and the more of them I see the more they are indistinguishable from those that are truly serious about religion. Poop sex or Christ the Lord, it's really all the same.